I can't speak.

I feel like I can't speak any language. Like I can't express myself in any kind of way, in any language. Is this a sign that I should learn a new one? Maybe my feelings are just inside a language I yet can't speak.
I am listening to a podcast that makes me think a lot. That hotel. The hotel of poet's. So lovely. I am not saying more than that. And also - like he said - if we could just live everyday like there is no tomorrow. That we all should remind us about that every day. Today is your last day - what are you going to do with it?
I love that my friends are all spread around this world of ours. I love that I can go to almost any country, and there know someone who'd show me around and spend time together. Talk about old memories. Talk about where we met. Maybe in Asia. Australia. England. Greece. Spain. Or somewhere else. I love this so much about my life - but I also hate it more than anything.
I hate that I don't get to see them often enough. That when it is night time here - it is day time there. That when we speak it has been months and months since last time and we forget to talk about important things cause they happened so long ago. I hate that I can't just call them and ask if they want to go the café with me. Or to go on a roadtrip. Or to the movies. Or rock climbing. Or ANYTHING. Cause they are spread around the world. And I love them to the freaking moon and back. So mixed feelings about this life of mine.

It is september. As always I will say that time passes by way too fast. I have lived in a new country. And I am back with my family already. And I will leave soon again. I know that I have made the choice to live this way, that one is on me. And most of the time I love this mindset and this way of living. But there are so many "goodbyes" involved in my life, and most of the time it is by the time where I just got so close to someone. So close that I never want to be apart with that person ever again. 
Okay, rant is over. It is 3 am and I am not allowed to sleep in another 5 hours. So I am going to keep listening to the amazing podcast. And then I am going to work on some photos and on my webpage. If you made it all the way here - you're a golden star. Ciao.