Thinking out loud.

The most of my toughts are stuck in here. Almost every word and sentence are saved in drafts and that's were they belong. I think it would be fun to let you guys read it sometime. To let you read what's in my mind and how I write it down. What's the result of my work. 

But we'll save that to another time. 

My mind is somewhere else now. It's not really here with me. I have so much to think about. Some really sad, and some really beautiful. 

I'll try to keep my mind and toughts to the beautiful things. But I miss him. And i'm so sad that he's not here with us anymore. This world is so unfair. So fucking unfair. 
But he knows that my mind is with him, and that he's in my heart. Forever. 

Now I will have a really good evening with my darling. He will study the rest of this day, but I enjoy just to look at him and his lovely smile. 

Here he is. The love of my life.

Thank you.

I just want to say thank you SO much for all the beautiful comments here in the latest weeks. It makes me so happy that you appreciate my texts, pictures and toughts about things. You make me really happy and I can't help smiling while I write this. 
So, this weekend have been awesome. Well, yeah, I found out the worst thing in my life. But It was good to spend time in the workshop and paint this weekend so I could have my toughts on other things than the one that hurts the most. But the evenings are worst. When I am going to bed and are supposed to sleep. I've been crying myself to sleep those days. 

But he is in a good place now. Hopefully even better than here. I will always love you, darling. You're the best.

So, now I am waiting for time to pass so I can go to work. I will work this evening, and also tomorrow evening. And wednesday. Haha. It feels good to be able to sleep on the morning. And to have the start of the day off so I can go for a run (I did'nt do that today), but I will tomorrow. And I can study for driving licence. Eat a big breakfast and just take it easy. I really like that.

And right now i'm actually planning my life. Maybe this is the biggest decision i've ever made. But I know that I will make the right decision, no matter what. 
I hope that you all have a really good day, and had a great weekend. Enjoy life. Take care of each other. Never forget to appreciate the ones who make you smile. It's easy to forget that sometimes.

Sing with John.

I've been home from work since sunday.
I am sick and i'm getting really tired of staying home now. Hopefully I will get better until friday and then I am back at work. I miss it really much actually. But until then, I am going to drink tea and just sleep. And I have been studying driving licens theory, and I think I am starting to learn something.
Also, I have been writing a list of "to do" things:
Buy train tickets to Arvika.
Call mediamarkt about my computer.
Study driving licens theory.
Look for makeup artist jobs.
Write more.
Take more photos.
Cook food.
Do smoothies.
Write letters.
Sing with John.
Here's a few things that I have to, and want to do in the near future. At first I just have to get well and then I'll be back on track!